Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Let’s be honest here -
I am not the girl men fall in love with.
I am the girl that men want to fuck.
I am a conquest. A prize. A show.

I could count on five hundred fingers
the number of people that have professed,
“I like you. You’re different. You’re an interesting girl.”
Apparently I’m not fascinating enough for you
to want to hold for more than a one night stand.

Once
as I finished swimming a sea of blankets
and got left stranded on the shore,
I asked myself:

What’s wrong with me?
What am I doing?
Am I not good enough for anybody?

And right before I could drown again,
the sun woke up and said,

"You are.
You are enough.
Forget the men whose hands have groped your hips
in search for answers to questions
you’ve never even heard of.
Do not settle for people who do not appreciate you,
who do not know how lucky they are.
Remember it is a privilege to be loved by you,
or even just
to be touched by you, and
the warmth of another body does not define your worth.

These men -
they think that they can own you
with their drunken stares and roughened arms, but
I have circled the earth
a thousand times
to feed the light flowing inside your skin.
Do not waste it by illuminating those who
can not even be bothered
to learn your last name.”

So that night when
the moon tried once more to pin me down,
I told him:

I am made of sunlight, crashing waves, and fireworks.
You think you can tame me
and cool my flesh?
I am the girl who plays with matches,
and trust me I play it well.
Lord knows I’ve walked through villages leaving
a pile of destruction in my wake.

My heart is a bushfire
and the next time you try to control me,
darling, make no mistake -

I will burst out and ravage you in flames.

I’ll
burn
you
to
the
ground.

(This isn’t a test.)

Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) | For All The Girls With Messy Hearts, And To The Men Whose Skin Have Tasted Mine (via surfandwrite)
Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Im Sure You’re Very Happy in Your New Relationship, Just Like I Am in Mine, So You Can Stop SnapChatting Me. It’s Been 10 Months.

And Other Short Stories About Man Children

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Just noting:

I have an amazing Irish boyfriend, an adorable Cavalier puppy and a well paying job at a newspaper.

Sunday, February 2, 2014
Sunday, December 22, 2013

thenotes:

The Fauns /// “Give Me Your Love” /// Lights

Snow day soundtrack.

Monday, November 4, 2013
Inventive ways to continue ruining everything.

Inventive ways to continue ruining everything.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Yes to all of the above.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Yeah, so it’s working out pretty much exactly like this song (this whole last year has followed the story line of Red, weird). Except for going to bars because, like, why would anyone ever meet for coffee?

(Source: Spotify)

Friday, September 20, 2013

222 golden retrievers gather in Scotland for the Guisachan Gathering, which is held at the home of the man who bred the first golden retriever in 1868.

Why did I not know about this?

(Source: mothernaturenetwork)

Monday, September 16, 2013
I am covered in bruises; I will bruise if you playfully punch me on the arm, and they will blossom into art on my legs from drunkenly walking into things. I can count them after sex with certain people. My best friend is always asking why boys are not more gentle with me, why they don’t seem to notice how small I am. 

You did. You told me you noticed, but you didn’t care. You once told me in the same breath that you wanted to marry me, and that I was a plaything. You would never tell me what I cried about. 

I am hard on myself. I have gone through every kind of loathing, and maybe that’s why I kept coming back. You felt the same as it did to hurt myself, and I’m good at that.

That’s why I’m in this mess. Because I thought you could fix me, because I need something to fix me. I thought you could make me happy, but when I realised you could only ever hurt me, it was too late and it already felt like old times. I realised that I had been wrong, so I probably deserved it; I’ve never known anything else so why should I expect more? And when I thought that, I realised that you, or this, had really maybe broken something in me. Reopened a wound I thought I had healed. You are selfish and incredibly insecure, manipulative, vain, thoughtless and cold. You are above all else a liar, with only yourself in mind. You are the opposite of tender.

I am covered in bruises; I will bruise if you playfully punch me on the arm, and they will blossom into art on my legs from drunkenly walking into things. I can count them after sex with certain people. My best friend is always asking why boys are not more gentle with me, why they don’t seem to notice how small I am.

You did. You told me you noticed, but you didn’t care. You once told me in the same breath that you wanted to marry me, and that I was a plaything. You would never tell me what I cried about.

I am hard on myself. I have gone through every kind of loathing, and maybe that’s why I kept coming back. You felt the same as it did to hurt myself, and I’m good at that.

That’s why I’m in this mess. Because I thought you could fix me, because I need something to fix me. I thought you could make me happy, but when I realised you could only ever hurt me, it was too late and it already felt like old times. I realised that I had been wrong, so I probably deserved it; I’ve never known anything else so why should I expect more? And when I thought that, I realised that you, or this, had really maybe broken something in me. Reopened a wound I thought I had healed. You are selfish and incredibly insecure, manipulative, vain, thoughtless and cold. You are above all else a liar, with only yourself in mind. You are the opposite of tender.

(Source: nevver)

Saturday, September 14, 2013

"All you have to do is wear a short skirt and be mean. Guys seem to like that."

Thursday, September 12, 2013
Great Western Road, Glasgow

Great Western Road, Glasgow

G&T because I’m stuck in Glasgow and the 1D movie isn’t on for another hour and Megabus are the actual worst and they can go suck a bag of dicks. Thanks to the Australian woman who noticed me crying in the rain and checked if I was okay and offered me a tissue. And the music isn’t bad in here.

G&T because I’m stuck in Glasgow and the 1D movie isn’t on for another hour and Megabus are the actual worst and they can go suck a bag of dicks. Thanks to the Australian woman who noticed me crying in the rain and checked if I was okay and offered me a tissue. And the music isn’t bad in here.

Colophon

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